The Straw God Dilemma

So lets say that all Christians do is brown nose some guy who created some things. Ok, I will grant that position. Why do you think that this group of people chose this guy who created some things over say Thomas Edison. Edison created a lot of stuff and then let us use them. Why do you suppose that we would not worship Edison but we would worship some guy who created some things. Maybe it was the things he created. So lets look at the things he created. Well, he made us specifically a tidy little landscape, that has its flaws in weather, but we are generally pleased. He made it at least 6000 years ago. Why are we still worshiping a guy who made some things who is 6000 years past his last invention. Well gee, maybe it was a really good invention. Lets look at it again. He made whole continents, a whole ocean, a whole world, a whole sun, a whole universe. Well I don't know about you but I do not know of anyone else who can do that stuff. So, we worship some guy who made some pretty large things, that nobody else could figure out how to make. Anything else? Yes, but it is kind of weird. Some guy who made some pretty large things also made - me. It gets weirder. I am also told that he made everyone that I know and everyone I don't know. So, we worship a Doctor Frankenstein like man who made my body and some pretty large things.

So, what is he going to do with this stuff? Well, I have a friend who has a friend who says he is this guys son and he tells me that he wants me to worship my his friend and his Father, Dr. Frankenstein impersonator. Well he is very nice for making all this stuff for me but what is he going to do if I don't. I have learned that he will have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick me in the face repeatedly, which is a fate worse than Dante's Inferno. Why Chuck Norris you ask? Well, my friend and his dad (Frankenstein) are good friends with Chuck Norris.

So, now we know what he wants to do with this stuff, but why does he want to do such mean things to everyone? Well, he is a big meany. So he created us so that he can be mean to us. That does not seem very sound, yet, because some Christians tell me that he is mean because he loves us. Well, that sure is bizarre and twisted.

Lets use some logic now. In what circumstance would my supposed creator be mean to me, but still love me. Hmm . . . . . Perhaps we owe him something? I have just received word from a Christian friend that yes we do owe him something. How did this come about? Well I heard that he has a list of ten rules that he tells us to obey, but that was after my ancestors ate of this tree that gives them knowledge of good and evil, to which my creator told them which not to eat. So, I think I understand, because he gave my ancestors one rule to not disobey, but they did anyway. So my ancestors were kicked out of this garden that was perfect, where no work was required of them, into the rest of this world where working really sucks.

So, why should I suffer the same punishment as my ancestor? I didn't eat of the tree. Oh wait it is because I now too have the knowledge of good and evil, and I usually pick evil as a good path for me. But then why is he still threatening me with Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks if I have already received punishment? Oh yeah, I forgot that there is a distinction from good and evil, and that I typically choose evil. Ok, that seems sound and legitimate.

But wait, there is more. This sounds like a horrible existence that I don't want to be living. I will likely choose evil over good, and I will get roundhouse kicked for it. So, Dr Frakenstein is just not very understanding of how hard it is for me. Dr. Frankenstein then does the craziest thing ever. Remember his son that is friends with my friend? My friend tells me that Frankenstein Jr., we will call him, was a perfect human being. So, what he did was he sacrificed his own son who was supposedly "perfect", which he did so that we did not have to get punished with roundhouse kicks. What!? So then general consensus is that we can sin all we want and not get punished for it, because Frankenstein Jr. was killed, but then soon raised from the dead as a zombie. This is really weird.

So we still get to do evil? I am told no. I am told that Dr. Frankenstein still has expectations of us. He says that if we do evil we will still burn in eternal roundhouse kicks. Then how do I possibly avoid this fate? My friend tells me that all I have to do is be really, really, really sorry. Oh, he just corrected me and said that I must be aware of the evils I have done and ask for forgiveness. And so how am I supposed to know when I did something wrong? Dr. Frankenstein wont tell me how I am wrong; wait, he did tell me. Apparently there is a hand book for the Christians that is long and tedious and dull. And not only that but since we have the knowledge of good and evil written on our hearts, we should know when we are being impious.

Summary: Dr. Frankenstein made some pretty large things, and he made the people that inhabit those large things. Our ancestors broke one rule and now we have to work for everything and pain hurts more than it did before, giving us very exuberant opinions about pain. We suffer the same punishment because we have the knowledge of good and evil, and we usually pick evil thinking it is good for us. But Dr. Frankenstein took perfect little Junior and killed him, which was Junior taking our punishment, instead of us. Dr. Frankenstein still wants us to obey his law, and he will punish us if we don't, and if we don't, we can be aware of it and ask him for forgiveness. Pretty wild.

But when I think about it, Dr. Frankenstein seems to me pretty justified. After all he made this world and I ignored him. He sacrificed his only son (who was perfect) for me and I ignored him. He offers me forgiveness and I ignore him. You know, I think I am looking at this wrong. Dr. Frankenstein, who I learned just now that he lives in the sky, is something that I am having a hard time describing. Oh! He is merciful! I would be very willing to follow a guy who created me and is also very merciful. You know, rather than seeming like a human, he seems more so like a God. A Great God.

You know this is still too weird for me to believe. I am going to go back to hedonism.


This definition is pulled from the wiki article of the straw man argument.

A straw man argument is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent's position. To "attack a straw man" is to create the illusion of having refuted a proposition by substituting a superficially similar yet weaker proposition (the "straw man"), and refuting it, without ever having actually refuted the original position.

The straw man fallacy occurs in the following pattern of argument:

  1. Person A has position X.
  2. Person B disregards certain key points of X and instead presents the superficially-similar position Y. Thus, Y is a resulting distorted version of X and can be set up in several ways, including:
    1. Presenting a misrepresentation of the opponent's position and then refuting it, thus giving the appearance that the opponent's actual position has been refuted.
    2. Quoting an opponent's words out of context – i.e. choosing quotations that misrepresent the opponent's actual intentions
    3. Presenting someone who defends a position poorly as the defender, then refuting that person's arguments – thus giving the appearance that every upholder of that position (and thus the position itself) has been defeated.
    4. Inventing a fictitious persona with actions or beliefs which are then criticized, implying that the person represents a group of whom the speaker is critical.
    5. Oversimplifying an opponent's argument, then attacking this oversimplified version.
  3. Person B attacks position Y, concluding that X is false/incorrect/flawed.

This sort of "reasoning" is fallacious, because attacking a distorted version of a position fails to constitute an attack on the actual position.

Atheists that use this argument are not trying to win the argument. They know that Christians are very passionate about their beliefs and so Atheists use this to get a reaction out of Christians. They treat them as if they are fools for believing that a Jewish carpenter is God. And the Christians only encourage it when they get worked up. But the best way to beat the atheist in this situation is to agree with him, about his claim of your own beliefs. He will be caught off guard. And then work your way by suggesting the true things about Christianity to them and slowly building your way to the truth. Then when you find yourself at the actual and a few name changes still in place the atheist will not know what to say because you presented your belief very clearly without getting worked up.

"He who makes the definitions, wins the argument" . . . . . for now.

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