Smokers Guide to Being the Best Possible of Smokers.

*I did not come up with these.

1. Give your last cigar away occasionally. It will make you feel better.

2. Do not light a cigar in the presence of a respected friend or acquaintance, unless you give him one. This does not apply to employees, fellow boarders or anyone with whom you come in daily contact.

3. Never refuse a light to any smoker. If you haven’t a match to give him, let him borrow some of your fire, even if it spoils your cigar.

4. Remember that smokers are equal when smoking.

5. Do keep a fresh pipe – if he is a pipe smoker – for your friend.

6. Do the nice thing once in a while. If you have more than one cigar and notice a man looking sadly out of the smoking car window, proffer him one of your smokes, with the understanding that there have been times when you were short on smokes and long on loneliness yourself.

7. Give your friend your best cigar. You’ll have lots of fine future smokes coming to you if you do.

8. Remember you can display more brotherly feeling in the way you proffer a cigar than in a world of nice words and small loans.

9. Remember that the hospitable smoker is one of nature’s choicest creations.

10. Never play a joke on a smoker. Don’t give the meanest of them a loaded cigar. It’s brutal, dangerous and a stupid thing to do.

11. Don’t be a cigar or cigarette “sponge”. It’s a low down habit. You can lose your self-respect and the respect of your friends more in this way than any other.

12. Don’t be a strutting, nose-tilting smoker. It’s tough.

13. Never smoke in the presence of ladies, unless you know it is not offensive. If you don’t know, ask them. If they object, don’t smoke. In spite of Kipling, any good woman is far finer of which any cigar has ever dreamed.

14. “Life is too short for poor food, poor company, poor clothes” and poor smokes.

15. Remember that silence and a good cigar are two of the finest things on earth. Even a hermit can be an angel under these circumstances, and a man of the world a man of the other world. Puff your smoke heavenward, and pitch your thoughts toward the clouds.


St. Valentines Day

Guess what I did. Wrote a poem. It is in work so I do realize that meter is off in certain places. I promise that I will fix it, but here it is now.

Your days are young, but ill and rotten
Love is seen, bought to ignore.
Bachelorhood is soon forgotten,
With contracts signed in life before.
In places public the look I feign,
Which love doth not entertain.

Continue on poor wretched soul
And hope to find one fairer than thee
smoke to death as a goal
Tho' she has value more than tobackee.
For her to have its qualities would be nice
But it have hers, shall not suffice.

Go to the lady, find the seek;
At the lusty wench do not curse
When in boys it may seem weak
But write your sweet a lovely verse
Into love may easeth
And do not stir it, until it pleaseth.