Short Witted

Wit. Love it or hate it, women are impressed by it. In other words it is here to stay. Sadly, those who have any semblance of wit are a minority. People fill their conversations with shrugs, broken eye contact, forced chuckles, awkward gestures, sighs, and the oblivious filler words that we (myself included) know all too well for their constant use. Wit is such an ignored quality that when we see someone with it we label them as a genius. Little do we know all it takes are small efforts of analyzing our topics and our speech. Though I would like to pay attention to another aspect of wit. There are also those who want to achieve wit, but fail in doing so and end up being jerks and/or dorks. They have noticed the praise that the truly witty receive and what more incentive do you need? Praise from your fellow man is valuable to us at least and it would seem that this is the quickest and easiest way to be praised. Although I said before it is easier than we think to those who have not, for the those who covet and have not it is harder than they think. So what does the dictionary (to save time) say what wit is?

Wit - the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure.

Wit could in fact be described as a service to others. It is the new previously untended gift of perception that pleases the hearers more than anything said before. It separates itself from all other comments because before it had gone unnoticed. Most people cherish the witty because of the joy they bring to the social circumstance. They did not only do it for themselves, but for others as well.

The first mistake that many make is just desiring the praise alone. They have no other motive than to benefit themselves. Common problems could be where the person says something smart at the expense of others. These are the people we tell to hold their tongues. Their theory is, "I can lift myself up if I put another down." this may work on some people, but there are moral issues with it that if they are not treated can do some psychological damage to the victim. And so any short comings of their friends is only seen as ammo for the person trying to be witty. Tell them nothing.

There are also another kind of failed wit. Those who quote others wit. Sure, they are educated but it is someone else's perspective they use and proceeded to regurgitate the quote. This is bad in two areas. One: they are never truly witty. Two: They never question the saying. They find that the statement has been printed and published into a book several times over and assume that is all the authority they need. Wit can say some very weighty things so it should not go un-analyzed. The witty statement is designed to help those less capable to carry the conversation. If a man merely repeats the statement it loses all effect. You might as well read aloud Ambrose Beirce's Devils Dictionary. They take no time to figure out whether or not the statement is a falsehood, truth or a truism. People receive a lot of misinformation because of the informal fallacy ipse dixit. Example: Lewis once said, "The world is flat." We all know that it is a lie but say it was still a question and we still had our admiration for Lewis. We would be very quick to believe him.

Wit is fantastic and it is not required to have but how dull would our world be if there was none. It is one of the few things that pick up our days.

Socrates, and Those Who Quote Socrates.

I cringe and you irk me with pain,
To have this context lost.
To say 'tis right to love, leave gain,
Than not to have the cost.

But say will you wait once and stay,
Explain away this thought?
You seem to never tell by way,
Avoid the question brought.

I've heard so many of all cliches,
"Die before dishonor".
But uttered in the critic's fray,
Pre-sumpt filed a goner.

Again I pray, you stick around,
You have not told me yet,
What it is that knowledge you found,
On which you always bet.

"Those who do not learn from hist'ry,
Are doomed to repeat."
At best it is a truism,
A proof that's not complete.

And so I ask you do not pass,
A chance to question brothers,
Who have not seen, they always gass,
The quotes of all the others.

By Evan Gunn Wilson

I Threatened to Post the Argument . . .

. . . . of an internet debate between an Atheist and a Christian. I wont. That would be mean, because I would use their actual names if I did.

The most painful parts of these debates is that both sides usually use the same arguments that we have heard a million times before. Also, no one is ever convinced of anything. No Christian likes to be told that the leader they follow is just a delusion and no Atheist likes to be told they are going to Hell for their actions. We holdfast to our home teams and tend to not hear a single word that our opponents utter. But here I will attempt to dissect our two parties and find out what makes them tick. I have no idea where this will take me.

Christian: What is the appeal of Christianity as a religion? 1) It promises eternal life. 2) It creates a social standing. 3) It has made morals for you so you don't have to come up with your own. 4) For any nerds out there it has great mythology. 5) It has pretty effective explanations for the universe.

The Christian mind is full of all of these stories that they remember and regurgitate when amongst other Christians. Why do they hold on to these inane stories? Well, it makes them appear Holy. The word holy is loosely translated as a description for something or someone that has been set apart from the rest. What a fantastic way to be seen by the masses as someone who is set apart. It appeals to the gnostic notion of becoming completely spiritual with the pleroma. Whatever religion it is that you belong if you are one of the few to do such it is a massive stroke of the ego. And hence social standing comes to Christians.

Christianity appeals to those who are lethargic to ethics. As soon as they have been "wronged" they get to point out the evil of the action by the authority of an omnipotent God. You cannot beat an omnipotent God in an argument; which is one reason why Christians can be so hard to make Atheists. Once you make an omnipotent God it is hard to unmake him. That is of course if we Christians are really "making up" the God.

The mythology just fills in a lot of unknown history.

Christians are able to point out to themselves that a creation needs a creator; and I am not saying that Atheists don't have this figured out for themselves, but Christians were able to approach the question more confidently. They have explained to us time and time again that the omnipotent God is eternal and therefore has never not been in existence. And so this stops the "where-did-that-come-from" question dead in its tracks.

In short, everything for the Christian is suddenly explained. An Atheist may make a joke along the lines of, "No thinking required".

But there are so many things that makes Christianity look so bad. Let me list them.
1. The Crusades
2. The inner workings of the Catholic Church
3. The horrible stuff done in the Bible that is supposedly encouraged.
4. The Intolerant Christians
5. Me.

With so many bad things about, the non-Christians demand an explanation. How can the Christian agree to any of this? Well, we shall merely suppose that either the Christians are either the dumbest people on earth or the smartest. Christians may be in so much denial that we cannot except that we could ever be wrong or we have dissected the matter so effectively that we cannot possibly find ourselves to be wrong for being so right.

Sadly, the idea of Christianity is not about being intellectual. It is about denying oneself to obtain a relationship with God. It is not our concern to argue about the systematic. And so I will leave it there have the reader meditate for themselves regarding Christianity.

Atheist: What is the appeal of Atheism? 1) The freedom to do as one pleases himself. 2) No fear for the after life.

Atheists are such delightful people. They never will reproach a homosexual. Consequently, they believe in a relative moral code. They run solely on social morals of the times and nothing more. But they are left in an awkward position. The Atheist is famed for opposing the morals of the Christian and any other religion. But how can they with relative theory? They have a hard time claiming that anything is right or wrong without being imposing of their morals. This is not to say that they cannot be right about their morals. Perhaps they are the ultimate source of ethics. We cannot yet tell them no. Otherwise it becomes a battle of opinions of equal gods.

The Atheist has removed the worry of Heaven and Hell from their lives. And when do we need to worry? This world is the only one we get. Kind of a sad concept, but the Atheists maintain a stoic attitude about it. But this leaves a question unanswered. Where did this world come from? I will not get into all of the theories, but they do an alright job at creating some of their own myths. These myths usually involve saying that A came from B and B came from C and so on and so forth until they push back their explanation to saying that it was some really powerful aliens that created everything or something called the "God Particle" that exploded in to the big bang. This all ends with a world created out of nothing without reason into something that has apparent reason.

So, we have two world views and by my former statements to be honest I am sure Atheism seems more appealing. But I implore you all to consider why it is that a Christian is a Christian and an Atheist is an Atheist. They likely did not chose these beliefs because it was the closest thing to grab, but rather intense thinking and analyzing. Believe at your own risk.

Oh, Victory Unworthy

O, Victory you are a bony faithful lass,
Waiting for me of meager peasant class.
Though for my capacity do not loom,
But forego me now, come to me soon.

Victory you're sweet, and I may just not bear,
To be with noble blood in thy extensive lair.
So I will pursue myself, to make more room,
So forego me now, come to me soon.

I desire you Victory, humbly and terribly so,
Though the wall of foolery makes the battle slow.
Discipline of wisdom will be my tribune,
And forego me now, come to me soon.

The primary lesson I have now learned well,
That you dwelleth in Heaven, farthest from Hell.
And since you abide by the Living God true,
Forego me now, come to me soon.

I have prayed to God and found his strength,
And resume my studies of wisdom at length.
So to sin I say and it's vile, wretched tune,
"Forego me now, and please die soon!"

By Evan Gunn Wilson

The "Apology"

This was a panic poem that I wrote for Hill Abbey. It is not very good. In fact, it is very bad, but I figured I would post it anyway for your laughing pleasure. Enjoy.

"How shall I be apologize now,
When I'd rather die by the vow.
What was it I didn't bring home;
Beautiful language wrote in a poem.

"Wes, forgive me. I plead with you,
To let the incompetence try again.
But sooth I think, I'll swindle you,
Having me write is terribly vain.

"Caleb, I slander your person with so much pride,
But to call you effeminate I have certainly lied.
Robert, I regret to trample over your words,
Your voice is so sweet like chirping birds.

"Molly, how could I criticize the lyric you wrote,
And justify this very one; a miserable moke.
And Joy, to be sorry I don't think I needs must be,
I can't recall being so mean. I hope that you agree."

I'll never be such a man, for arrogance made me far too cool.
What I do as a gentleman, make contracts free, being not a fool.

By Evan Gunn Wilson

Why Caleb Is Wrong About Art

Caleb states, if I am not mistaken, that the emotions, sentiments and feelings provoked in a work of art makes it beautiful. Also he does not think it is necessary that emotions be present for art to be beautiful. In other words the craft and emotion can exist separately from each other and compliment each other when both utilized.

I implore you reader or listener to forgive Caleb for his folly, for he knows not what he says. As we all know it is a practice of the female gender to have all parts of their life connected in one way or another. They find themselves, if stuck in that rut of thinking long enough, unable to separate two parts of their lives. What Caleb has done is much like that. He took two of the largest parts of his life and connected them as though they belonged with each other. He did not want them apart for fear of having to back up why he likes terrible art (bless his heart).

Enough with the bulverisms as I am aware that I have not yet proven him wrong about his beliefs. Perhaps the female of the species is the more deadly and thus more correct for this mode of thought. It starts at Caleb's admittance that good art can function as such with evoking the emotions of the mind. All it is that I provide to the table is the proverbial "simplest explanation". Caleb complicates it with his precious connections that he so loves seeing in the Divine Comedy. Attributing emotion of truth as inherently beautiful creates problems or plot holes, if this were a story being told. It is unnecessary to beauty. Example: Premise. This human has hair. Conclusion. Therefore, anything with hair is a human. In our context it goes like this: Premise. This great art has evoked truthful emotion. Conclusion. Therefore, any art that has truthful emotion is great art. With reasoning it does not follow.

This idea of truthful emotion invites subjectivism with welcoming arms and a friendly hug. If one person holds a view and another the opposite view, which of them is correct in saying that their views of truth are beautiful? It may not make truth relative but it does make art relative. Both parties of opposite views are having emotional reactions to songs that support their beliefs; so how are they to decide which of them is not actually having an emotion evoked. One of them has to be wrong even though both of them claimed to "tear up" at the opposite truths. Again, Caleb has complicated a perfectly good definition to the point of relativism.

The definition I provide removes that problem. If you argue that high beauty equals complexity then we have no issues. It makes it a black and white problem. A man cannot argue that something simple is actually complex without sounding insane. The emotion is the mere bye- product of the high art. And I shall provide one last example.

Average Joe writes, "I have written a devotional poem!"

Average Joe's Devotional

God is good. God loves me.
He is very very great.
Jesus lived. I am free.
Me, he never will hate.

Compare this very truthful poem to the very truthful poem of Sir Walter Raleigh, of whom I am a fan.

The Passionate Man's Pilgrimage

No cause deferred, nor vain-spent journey ;
For there Christ is the King's Attorney,
Who pleads for all without degrees,
And he hath angels, but no fees.
And when the grand twelve-million jury
Of our sins, with direful fury,
'Gainst our souls black verdicts give,
Christ pleads his death, and then we live.

Be thou my speaker, taintless pleader,
Unblotted lawyer, true proceeder !
Thou giv'st salvation even for alms ;
Not with a bribèd lawyer's palms.
And this is my eternal plea
To him that made heaven, earth, and sea,
That, since my flesh must die so soon,
And want a head to dine next noon,

A conversation between a Dark Man and a Futilitarian

The meter was unattended and I apologize. Stream of consciousness here. Be nice.

A Dark Man

Oh wretched me! A gloom made capture,
The dark draws near, though teasing conclusion.
And how I long for a coming rapture,
If not, I would have it assume illusion.

So now I am pale, cold and perfidious,
And proceed to lay to waste my members.
Told that darkness was not so vicious,
I cleaved to the bleak since December.

I believed there was the greatest insight,
To view life in pessimism, becoming sage.
But now I find a sad, frightening height,
Seeing the world as hope's only true gage.

My friend, a futilitarian brute,
Haunts me saying I surely rust.
I refuse to assent, not recruit,
By that, his life is not just.

The Futilitarian Optimist

You child, you supposed you might find,
Happiness and joy by insipid pathes.
Though your life you may not rewind,
But re-think it all, a route you hath.

Quit that now, and know you are,
A wicked sinful pile of dust.
And so your God will not be far,
For He shall raise you up I trust.

A wise man (Solomon) once well vainly said,
"By sadness of countenance the heart is made glad."
So to work, do thy duty and contently tread,
Joy in thy gifts though their eternity is not had.

'Tis a fad! This dark behavior expressed in arts,
Invariably sucked it by the mysterious ploy.
"De Morte" the screen play and all its parts,
Futility's fine though she be a bit coy.

The Tragedy of Sir Walter Raleigh excerpt, By Evan Gunn Wilson

Act III, scene I

Dramatis personae: William Shakespeare
Ben Jonson

Scene: Mermaid Pub

Jonson: Ay! Will, fancy meeting you here at the Mermaid! In my line of profession this is one of the few joys I may cling to without concern of excess.

Shakespeare: Ben, you are grabbing unnecessary attention . . . again. Although, it is a pleasure to see a friend at this hour; the succession of James is near, and I feel ill.

Jonson: I believe, Will, you are crediting yourself with more enemies than you deserve. Amongst my friends with whom you are unacquainted, you are known as sort of the Town Suck-up. I, on the other hand, have much more weight on my dealings than you. James is a passionate man which could result in my fleeing the country or at least an early retirement. Count your blessings, Will.

Shakespeare: Could you be any thicker? You think I am concerned about my repute? If I am pray that I receive a severe punishment of shame. It is not myself that I am sick about, but our friend Raleigh. Oh, and how undeserving he is malicious ill favor! And Raleigh, the free spirited man that he is, wont change his charity or generosity to gain graces with the King. He is too right to change and I imagine James is too selfish to see that.

Jonson: Raleigh? You are concerned for Raleigh? I do think there is an air of overreaction in you. Snuff that out as best you can, otherwise it will eat at you and there is no where to go but down into melancholy. No, Walter is a capable man and has enough allies in the citizenry to have an army, or even flee to America and be his own King. Hell, I believe if poked and prodded enough he will run the king through next chance he gets.

Shakespeare: You vile bastard! You know so little of him! Your mere suggestion of Raleigh conspiring to assassinate our potentate is libelous towards him and could be his undoing. No, Walter is loyal to his friends, but before that he is loyal to his authorities; no matter his condition. And that is the very reason I worry for him. If James wants him dead, Raleigh will be dead. I know this as he is no coward.

Jonson: Will, had I known your passions, I would think your actions were allusions. [sarcastically] Perhaps, I do not see you before me now, and you are really petitioning the king as I become a loon.

Shakespeare: [returning the sarcasm] Oh, and I'll see you stand for Raleigh in his time of need? You know your problem, but you choose to ignore it; at least I observe mine, and you can see my sorrow.

Jonson: Ay, but thereis no point in us ruffling each others feathers when we both agree we would like to see Walter living here in England, free of persecution. All we know is that it is a tough task; the man is a devout protestant and I have a sure notion of what James thinks of that, bloody Stuart.

Shakespeare: Please let us speak no more of it. I take no pleasure in hearing this tragedy.

Jonson: Listen Will, I only ask that you get in the right mind; become a realist. Take a healthy portion of the stoics why don't you. You are a good friend, Will, and I rather not see you go into a spiraling depression. I'd prefer you remain among the living.

Shakespeare: I see your reasoning. You may be my foil, Ben, but I would do very well to keep you around.

Jonson: Now that I have you back, indulge me a little with your true heart felt ideas of James!

Shakespeare: Imprudence, Thy name is Jonson!

Jonson: Well, not what I was looking for, but your manner has changed. Come, say what do you think of how he dresses? How about his pretense, or no his self-righteousness! I can think of hundreds of insults: James has a big head, slobbering mouth, codfish eyes, spindle shanks, drunk, coward.

Shakespeare: Despite your best efforts to resolve mt mind, thoughts are still there. Besides, I worry less about James; it is that reptile Cecil. You may call me double minded but Cecil is a snake that makes a friend and instantly throws them away for higher position.

Jonson: Secretary Cecil? Why I was sure that he liked Raleigh.

Shakespeare: And perhaps he did, but only before James was the suggested successor to the throne.

Jonson: Strange, but I suppose I should not take surprise at this. James has a very imposing will since you and I both lie low in one fashion or another.

Shakespeare: Ben, I have resolved that next I see Raleigh that I warn him of Cecil. I do not know what I want him to do with the information, but it is an itch that I cannot help scratch.

Jonson: I make no objections.

Shakespeare: Very well, but now I must leave your presence to attend a meeting with Marlowe.

Jonson: Bah! I would say that you not waste your time with Kit. Man's an amateur.

Shakespeare: Hold your tongue, Ben.

[exit Shakespeare]

Scripture Reading, 3/6/11

15 O LORD, thou knowest;
remember me and visit me,
and take vengeance for me on my persecutors.
In thy forbearance take me not away;
know that for thy sake I bear reproach.
16 Thy words were found, and I ate them,
and thy words became to me a joy
and the delight of my heart;
for I am called by thy name,
O LORD, God of hosts.
17 I did not sit in the company of merrymakers,
nor did I rejoice;
I sat alone, because thy hand was upon me,
for thou hadst filled me with indignation.
18 Why is my pain unceasing,
my wound incurable,
refusing to be healed?
Wilt thou be to me like a deceitful brook,
like waters that fail?
19 Therefore thus says the LORD:
"If you return, I will restore you,
and you shall stand before me.
If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless,
you shall be as my mouth.
They shall turn to you,
but you shall not turn to them.
20 And I will make you to this people
a fortified wall of bronze;
they will fight against you,
but they shall not prevail over you,
for I am with you
to save you and deliver you, says the LORD.
21 I will deliver you out of the hand of the wicked,
and redeem you from the grasp of the ruthless."

Jeremiah 15

Let Us Hear It For the North!

The luxury of sand and water; bathed in sun,
Is pleasant for a time, and well to have.
But to live in the North, the luxury is shun,
Even if only for death, there will be my grave.

To constantly indulge these sensual desires,
In our minds to this we may allude.
But to keep farthest away from dangerous fires,
Our flesh becomes unwittingly crude.

To be called "of the North" a compliment sure,
Negative implications cannot be found.
For the North and Her perils encourage the pure,
To cultivate and use the hard brittle ground.

Dost thou prefer ecstasy om earth?
Free of duty, having relaxed pride.
You will become soft, losing your worth,
As wit and muscle un-becomingly fried.

We are assured the North is that great,
For the promised gain is pursued there.
Securing this danger is hard to relate,
As futility she maketh it wholly unfair.

But Futility! That is a different story,
For later I'll speak of all it's glory.

By Evan Gunn Wilson